Confessions of a Professional Binge-Watcher
Okay so there are times when I tell myself “Just one more episode” at 2 a.m. and then suddenly it’s 7 a.m.
Welcome to my world — where self-control can be ignored when it comes to amazing series, and sleep is only for people without Netflix subscription.
Before I begin a binge-watching session, I warm up with a solid hour of scrolling through the endless number of shows. You know the drill — Netflix, Hotstar, Prime, Hulu — I will pay a visit to every streaming service.
This is how my decision-making process goes:
1. Watch something new? No, thanks. I like commitment, not risk. I’m not emotionally ready to invest in another show’s pilot episode just to have it betray me by episode three.
2. Rewatch an old favorite? Why not? I love watching Friends for the 27th time.
3. Random pick based on the algorithm? Ooh, this looks interesting… wait, is that a cringe romance drama? No thanks.
By the time I’ve selected a show, I’ve wasted more time scrolling than I would have spent finishing an entire season.
Episode one is over, and I say to myself, “Okay, that was fun, but it’s late, I should sleep.” But then Netflix — starts the next episode without even asking. Suddenly, I’m like, “Well, I can’t just stop now; Can I?”
The first four episodes I am fully invested in the characters’ lives, ignoring my own. My bladder is screaming, “Just pause it and go pee!” But my brain replies, “Nah, this episode will finish in 28 minutes… we can make it.”
By the time episode six starts playing, my eyes are dry, and I’ve become one with the couch. I’m not sure if I’m still watching the show or if I’ve become a character in it. Either way, I’m committed now. My body will survive on banana chips and bread.
Somewhere around 4 a.m., I realise, “Oh no, I have to get up in two hours.” But it’s too late now. If I don’t finish the series, what was the point of this binge-watching journey?
My brain replies:
- “I’ll sleep when I’m dead.”
- “Who needs sleep when I can have just one more plot twist?”
- “Coffee was invented for situations like this.”
Suddenly, the sun’s rising, the show’s climax plays, and I’m left sitting in a pile of bread crumps and regret. My eyes are bloodshot, my legs are numb, and yet, there’s a sense of pride. I did it. I achieved what I set out to do — I conquered an entire season in one night.
These mornings hits like a truck. There’s a brief moment where I question all of my life choices. Why did I do this?
And you know what, coffee doesn’t help that much when you are all tired and looking like a ghost for the whole day!
And then, the worst part: Next night, I open Netflix, and the algorithm hits me with, “Because you watched…” suggestion.
Oh no. Here we go again.
But hey, sleep is overrated, right?
Binge-watching is a lifestyle. It’s not for the weak.
It’s for those of us who believe that finishing 14 episodes in one night is a badge of honor.
So next time you sit down to watch “just one episode,” remember: sleep is temporary, but the satisfaction of finishing an entire season at 5 a.m.?
That’s forever. And there’s always more coffee!! (Doesn’t mean it actually helps)
Love,
Dona 💕
