An Open Letter to My 15-Year-Old Self — You are still awkward!
Dear 15-Year-Old Me,
Before I start, let me just say: I’m sorry to break it to you, but you’re still awkward.
I know, I know — you had big plans. Remember how you were convinced you were going to grow up to become a successful adult who has everything figured out by, oh, the age of 25?
HAHAHA. Yeah… no. That didn’t happen
Let’s rewind and unpack a few things, shall we?
Expectation #1: “I’ll Be Super Successful and Rich By 25!”
I love that for you. Really, I do. You genuinely believed that straight A’s, extremely organised biology notes, chemistry formulas, and never missing a single homework deadline would somehow make you super successful in life?!
How adorable!
You thought you would publish a thesis, get a PhD, and probably have a Nobel Prize for something ridiculously complex, like discovering a new math or physics theorem?
Yeah, about that…You didn’t.
You did get a job!
A real adult job that pays money and everything. And while it pays the bills (and some impulse buys on Amazon, Myntra, Nykaa), “rich” is not quite the word we’re looking for.
And the whole “figuring life out” thing? It’s a work in progress. Most of the time, you are just asking ChatGPT, “how many calories are in three bananas” or “how to get 7 hours sleep in 4 hours”.
But, hey, at least you’re not drowning in exam papers and panic attacks anymore. So… win?
BTW, you still practice your Oscar speech in your head! Just in case :)
Expectation #2: “I’m Going to Be Fit and Fabulous!”
You used to stare at yourself in the mirror, grabbing at the belly fat and imagined that someday you’d become a walking Pinterest fitness inspiration.
You are not quite there yet.
Well, guess what? You did lose weight! 🎉 You’re not the “fattest ever” version of yourself anymore.
You did the workouts, ate the green stuff, and now, you don’t have to hold your breath to zip up your jeans.
But : while your body changed, your brain still freaks out over what it sees in the mirror sometimes. So, you may look great, but you’re still looking at your reflection thinking, “Is that a new double chin, or is it just bad lighting?”
But hey, at least you can rock a crop top now without secretly holding your breath.
Expectation #3: “I Don’t Need Relationships. Love is a Distraction!”
Now, let’s talk about relationships. Remember when you were 15 and thought romantic love was for other people?
Remember how you’d roll your eyes at anyone who even mentioned dating? “I don’t need a boyfriend. I have my fictional gentlemen/celebrities (Mr.Darcy or Gilbert or SRK)!” You’d declare proudly.
Well, here’s a plot twist you won’t see coming. You’re not just in a relationship; you’re engaged! To a guy you met online, no less. Yeah, try wrapping your teenage brain around that.
He’s wonderful. He’s been your partner for four years and knows exactly how to make you laugh when you’re on the brink of a mental meltdown (because yes, mental meltdowns are still very much a Dona thing).
So, while 15-year-old you would probably give me a disgusted look and say, “Eww, online dating? Really?” I’d say, “Calm down, Judge Dona, it worked out fine!” 😂
Expectation #4: Be someone who everyone loves?
15-year-old me, I know you thought the whole “I’ll become super social and charming in my twenties” thing would just happen naturally. Sorry to disappoint, but you still cringe about things you said five years ago.
But hey, you have learned to show glimpses of who you really are to people, even if it’s just making bad jokes or expressing a strong opinion about tomato sauce on Indian mixture(still love it, by the way).
Also, It turns out, there’s nothing wrong with preferring Netflix over nightclubs or turning down plans just to hang out in comfy pyjamas.
Expectation #5: “I’ll Have Everything Figured Out”
Here’s the truth:
You never really figure it out.
At 15, you thought there was a magical point when you’d just get it. When you’d wake up one day, perfectly in sync with life, work, relationships, and probably even your skin-care routine. But the reality is… we’re all kind of faking it, one day at a time.
And that’s okay.
You’ve got a career, a healthy(ish) lifestyle, and a loving fiancé who doesn’t mind your weirdness.
Sure, you still forget way to your own neighbourhood sometimes, and you’ve forgotten to pay your rent at least twice (okay, four times)but you’ve also learned that the beauty of adulthood is accepting that you’re never going to be a flawless, all-knowing superhuman.
So, if I could give you one piece of advice, it’d be this: cut yourself some slack. You don’t have to have all the answers, and it’s okay to feel lost once in a while (or most of the time).
You’ll get through it with a bit of humour, some tears, and a whole lot of coffee.
Final Words of Wisdom (or Something Like That)
So, 15-year-old me, I’m sorry to say that you didn’t transform into that ideal version of yourself you dreamed about.
You’re still awkward, you still overthink.
But you know what? You’re also happier, healthier, and surrounded by love.
I think you’d be proud of how far we’ve come — because we’ve learned to laugh at ourselves along the way. (And yes, that skill is far more useful than when you memorised the entire periodic table in three days competing with your friend.)
And that’s so much better than being perfect.
With love and slight embarrassment,
Your Older (but not very wiser) Self ,
Dona 💕
